WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE ASHAMED OF YOUR ANXIETY DURING ADVENT – reblogged from Child of God

Posted on December 6, 2019 by Child Of God

Heather Caliri

I was supposed to feel happy. That’s the thought that kept running through my head my first Christmas Eve as a married woman, sitting in my in-laws’ dining room as everyone unwrapped gifts. How dare I be unhappy, surrounded by people who genuinely liked each other, and who had welcomed me as one of their own?

But grief was a shard in my heart. As my husband’s family enjoyed themselves, I faked a smile and tried not to cry.

Finally, I excused myself and hurried to the guest bedroom. Once there, I let the tears come, bewildered and ashamed that being surrounded by my new family left me so raw. What was wrong with me?

Even though the songs and gift wrap assure us this season is the “most wonderful time of the year,” many of us feel anxious, sad, guilty, or overwhelmed during the holidays. Often, the bright twinkling lights and soft-focus family photos only bring our negative feelings into clearer view. Nothing feels more grinchy than grief in front of a tinseled tree.

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